Several planets are currently moving through Scorpio, a fixed water sign, which puts relationships under an intense and powerful lens. Venus has just entered the sign, and the Sun will remain in Scorpio for a while longer.
In early December, Mars will move into Scorpio and stay there until the new year. Scorpio energy is intense, and you can harness it to improve your relationships. However, the biggest factor that causes relationships to fail is the emotional wall. Scorpio is adept at building such walls—but equally skilled at tearing them down.
If you truly want to succeed in love and relationships, you will need to bring down some of those barriers. Today we will discuss why this matters and how to do it.
Walls Keep People Out
The primary reason we build walls in relationships—whether friendships or romantic partnerships—is to protect our hearts from being hurt. People who have not experienced much pain in life tend to have fewer walls and enjoy open, happy relationships. But let’s be realistic.
That describes only a small segment of the population. Very few people are happy all the time, and many who feel discouraged by love are operating behind a wall.
When others come into contact with us, or feel attracted to us, and they discover there is a kind of gateway before they can reach our hearts, they will respond in various ways—romantically, spiritually, even physically.
Those who genuinely want to enter your heart will make a focused effort; those who don’t, won’t. It’s that simple. I have heard people say, “I’m not interested in loving anybody unless they are interested in tearing down my wall.”
That is perhaps the most self-limiting and self-defeating prophecy you can create for yourself in love. It is the very definition of being your own worst enemy. It is not anyone else’s job to take down your walls. That is your job.
Of course, we need some sense of self-preservation in romance. You cannot let just anyone in, or you never know who might burglarize your home or your heart. You simply have to be smart about it—and Scorpio embodies that.
Scorpio is the detective who researches, fact-finds, and investigates every opportunity, romantic or otherwise. When something isn’t working for Scorpio, they tear it down entirely and start from scratch.
This is invigorating and empowering for Scorpio, and it’s one reason you will often hear this emotional water sign say, “that is dead to me.” As fixated, obsessed, and jealous as Scorpio can become—and we can—we also reach a point when it’s time to tear something down completely and begin again.
The fine balance between these two extremes—having a wall and tearing it down—is being open in relationships. When you are open, you truly get the best of both worlds, and you experience more fulfilling and honest relationships. So how do you do that?
How to Be Open in Relationships
Being open in relationships does not mean opening your relationship to other partners. Being open in relationships is very different from having an open relationship. We are not discussing open relationships here.
We are talking about how to have an open heart so that you either attract more romantic opportunities that benefit you, or you use that open heart to uplift and elevate your current relationship.
Being open means exactly that. It means communicating honestly with your partner and allowing yourself to be a little more vulnerable. It means speaking your truth and letting your partner know exactly what you need and want.
You are allowed to have needs and wants—and to communicate them! It’s called relating, the root word of relationships, remember? That is precisely how to be more open in relationships: by actually communicating your needs and wants to your partner. This is scary, which is why many people avoid it in relationships!
We fear that the other person will hear our needs and wants and run away. Here is the cold hard truth about love: when it is good, it is very, very good, and when it is not, it is ugly. The simple fact of love remains that no matter how big you love in this world, or how many loves you have, as Plato said, loving someone always comes with a loss.
It’s not a gamble you take. It is a fact. When you enter a love experience, you are already consciously choosing to lose that person at some point in your life. Whether by death or by a relationship break-up remains to be seen, but it will happen.
Having a lover is in some ways no different from having a pet. You enter the experience knowing you will not spend the rest of your life with this pet—sad, but painfully true. Do you say no to the pet anyway? Well, some people do, but most don’t. They allow this unconditional love into their life anyway, and so should you with the humans in your life!
Being Open and the Law of Attraction
The law of attraction states that what you focus on grows. That means what you think about and obsess over is what you will attract into your life.
If you focus on keeping that wall in front of you nice and sturdy, sound, and impenetrable, then you will not be able to allow anyone into your life in a truly authentic way, no matter how hard they try to break that wall down.
If you have decided there is a wall, you are attracting safety and security around your heart, and you will not succeed in waiting for someone willing to break down that wall. If you have decided to be open and loving in relationships, then you will attract those open and loving opportunities and experiences in love.
If you are single, you will attract more people who are willing to get on the same page with you. Trust me, being open to new people is very attractive and even very sexy. If you are attached, then once you make that choice to be more open, you also choose to elevate and uplift your current relationship.
Secrets and walls break down relationships faster than true feelings and authentic words. It’s really that simple, and it really is your choice. What do you choose?
